Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Self-Portrait Tuesday...At Loose Ends.


Life has been funny lately. For the first time, I'm not at work most of the day. M. is gone all day at school. My private classes will not start for weeks. On the one hand, I feel overjoyed to take a break from full-time teaching, like this new life is really going to suit me. But part of me is freaking out inside--"What am I going to DO today?? I should get a retail job somewhere. I should be making us some money....I'm going to go totally nuts at home."

Then I look around, REALLY look around, and realize all the tasks waiting in our apartment--all the ways I can make life easier for my husband, and all the opportunity I have to make things, to read....to slowly build up a business of teaching privately.

I've found that vacuuming and straightening can be meditative when I don't have a million other things pressing on me.

6 Comments:

Blogger Kellsey said...

Sweetpea, I like the soft focus. Have you been feeling out of focus yourself lately?

10:29 AM  
Blogger sweetpea said...

oh dear, i often feel out-of-focus, I'm afraid. it goes along with being me...

12:08 PM  
Blogger Wedding Girl said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:16 PM  
Blogger Wedding Girl said...

you look beautiful even when blurry...

5:17 PM  
Blogger Kellsey said...

sweetpea, I appreciated the addition of your thoughts and reflections. Perhaps now you will have the time to explore some sci-fi! ;-)

7:09 PM  
Blogger Wedding Girl said...

i have totally experienced the fear of no purpose when you're at home alone all day, but it's a good experience, i think.

6:00 AM  

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